I hate your face
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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