Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
