I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
