with your own penis?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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