I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
