We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
