I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
