I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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