Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
