can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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