Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
