have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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