I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize