Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
