Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
