I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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