Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
