hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
