if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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