rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
