It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
home. puking in laundry basket.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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