I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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