Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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