Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
