My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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