i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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