my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
