i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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