I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We have started to decorate penises.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
