He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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