Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
