we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
