pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
