wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
