just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
