He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
