that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
