I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
