Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
