who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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