I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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