She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
