O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
