sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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