white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you had me at cake vodka
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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