I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
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U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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