the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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