We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
whose parrot is this?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
