drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
