No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
