i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am naked and annoyed.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
