Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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