She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
