I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
