Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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