yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
