Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize