just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
