he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
