that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
