If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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