How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she woke up with a sticky ear
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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