the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
