Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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